Monday, March 21, 2016

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT COMPARE YOUR SUCCESS TO THAT OF OTHERS



I remember when we were kids; there was great emphasis on comparison especially in relation to our performance in our lower grade classes.  I could hear my classmate mom (who were residing close to our vicinity) always pointing out loud, “Johnny what is wrong with you! Your performance is ever deteriorating and there is no sign of improvement. Why can’t you be like Selina (who always topping in our class and still lived close to us) who is always working so hard and becoming the best student in your class? I really don’t understand what kind of person you are!”  She would utter such sentiments with rage making Johnny to completely ‘sink’ into a state of abjection.

From the story above, this brings the big question; is there any essence or satisfaction achieved from comparing yourself with another person? I totally disagree with that act! You are completely a unique set of yourself. I read from a quote somewhere in Instagram that the odds of you being born are about 1 in 400 trillion! This can be compared to the probability of 100,000 people all winning a particular jackpot (which is exactly the same) in a lottery drawing. This is something that can barely happen; actually I guess it is almost impossible! What am I driving at?  You are completely different from any other person. The skills you possess, the experience you have gained, the aspirations that you have are completely different from what another person has.

Let’s get to the issue of success. There are great individuals out there who have made it great, right? But the real truth is that you cannot try to compare your success with what they possess. It is never right to do that. You might never know the paths and the struggle they passed through to reach there. Once you have your own definition of success, follow it; it will lead you to the right paths and destination. Comparison will make you lose focus and even try to use the tactic of “getting rich quick”, an aspect that will completely destroy your path to success.

Though you can always seek and borrow the right reference from those who have made it in life, but you cannot start comparing and imitating their lifestyles, posh cars (to the extent of even borrowing!). Ultimately, you will discover that you can’t be just like them; you are different from them. It would be wise if you can enhance your own personal growth. There is an adage that goes, ‘you have to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather is”. After all, it is for your own goodness. Don’t waste that energy comparing yourself to others; it is a great inhibition for your consistent growth.

There is this example that I can try to bring about; let’s say you have this great cognitive idea that you have just formulated in your mind. You are envisioning it as a breakthrough to your success once it becomes a reality. So, what you do, you decide to share it with some of your friends, colleagues, family and even your close partners. You have great expectation that they are going to endorse this idea and even support you. But what is the response? They say your idea is insanely-defined, it doesn’t seem to be possible and it is just a waste of time trying to implement it!

How do you need to take it? If you truly believe that it can really work, don’t allow yourself to be succumbed to their opinion; just move ahead and they will later discover how credible the idea was, when you have implemented it. Actually, some even come later to say that they saw some potential in it (yet they didn’t express it at that time!) but they were a bit reluctant to concur with you.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said it is wise for every person to do his own believing rather than comparing himself or herself with others. Comparison creates a lesser person within you which would ultimately result to frustrations, dejection and even a despondent state in you.

It becomes interesting and fun when all you can focus on relies on your own real scores rather than fully shifting your attention to others. For instance, if you are in a sporting event (either a race or football) and you keep on looking at your rival’s scorecard, you might end up losing the focus to achieve what you really need to. Within you lay the greatest aspect of success or failure and it does not depend on what the other person is actually doing.

It is time for you to decide; either if you are self-driven or mass-motivated! Make an informed choice of what you would actually want to be rather than what another person wants you to be. You have to create something new for yourself; let your plans shift on creating rather than comparison. You will discover than in due time, you will create your own self and achieve that happiness you have always yearned. Get started now! If not now, when?

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